Can the sanctity of fake marriage be preserved?

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We're gathered here today to join together "The Bachelor: Jason and Molly's Wedding" (8 p.m., ABC, TV-PG) to its willing audience of emotional voyeurs. By the power invested in me by the horrible state of reality television, I now pronounce you perfect for each other.

According to ABC, this is the first "Bachelor" couple ever to walk down the aisle. What? One wedding, after 14 seasons? If this were a dating service, it would be out of business, or at least investigated for consumer fraud.

And I know what you're thinking. (Or maybe not.) What about Trista and Ryan? Technically, Trista chose Ryan at the end of her stint on "The Bachelorette." So that was all very, very different. Their wedding was broadcast in 2003 as part of a three-night "event." So we're getting off easy with Jason and Molly.

For those keeping score in the altar-bound department, "The Bachelorette" is one for five. Not exactly Cupid's Archery Range, but a model of efficiency compared to "The Bachelor."

-- Speaking of couples, Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor guest star on a special episode of the kids' animated series "Phineas and Ferb" (8 p.m., Disney HD), portraying the parents of the title characters.

-- Animation and computer graphics allow us to travel to unknown worlds, often yet-to-be-realized. Sometimes they resemble dreamscapes, and just as often, nightmares. The History Channel has carved out a grim little franchise with "Life After People," a glance at the fate of the world, post-humanity.
Tonight, National Geographic invites us to "Aftermath: World Without Oil" (10 p.m., National Geographic), a glance at several possible scenarios for the world's economy, agriculture and societies when the supply of Texas Tea finally peters out.

The hour examines the choices facing us in the event of king oil's demise. Will societies put greater emphasis on alternative fuels, or in developing more sustainable ways of life?

TONIGHT'S OTHER HIGHLIGHTS

-- Chuck's special talent vanishes on "Chuck" (8 p.m., NBC, TV-14).

-- A blogger (Laura Prepon) exhibits strange symptoms on "House" (8 p.m., Fox, TV-14,V).

-- Ricky returns ready for trouble on "Secret Life of the American Teenager" (8 p.m., Family, TV-14).

-- A construction worker falls down a manhole on "Trauma" (9 p.m., NBC, TV-14). Most viewers thought this show had fallen down a manhole, too. But it's back -- for now.

-- A major shakeup at CTU complicates matters on "24" (9 p.m., Fox, TV-14,V). Stephen Root guest stars. It will take more than that to save this show. It's time to let the clock run out.

-- Neighbors compete in a backyard design competition on "Turf War" (9 p.m., DIY).

-- "Sonic Youth: From the Basement" (9:45 p.m., IFC, TV-PG) offers a 15-minute performance.

-- An unpopular receptionist has an appointment with murder on "CSI: Miami" (10 p.m., CBS, TV-14,V).

-- Unjust deserts on "Castle" (10 p.m., ABC, TV-14).

-- Carol Tobin vanishes and Arthur Frobisher returns on "Damages" (10 p.m., FX, TV-MA).

-- Anthony Bourdain interviews fellow chefs and food writers about their personal obsessions on "No Reservations" (10 p.m., Travel, TV-PG).

-- A mother's mess sparks custody battles for her children on a repeat "Hoarders" (10 p.m., A&E).

CULT CHOICE

A Hollywood washout thinks he can revive his career in Rome in the 1962 drama "Two Weeks in Another Town" (6 p.m., Eastern, TCM), starring Kirk Douglas and directed by Vincente Minelli. A sequel of sorts to "The Bad and the Beautiful."

SERIES NOTES

Robin has it out for Barney on "How I Met Your Mother" (8 p.m., CBS, TV-PG) ... Lux and Jones go on a date on "Life Unexpected" (8 p.m., CW, TV-14) ... A lack of bedside manners on "Rules of Engagement" (8:30 p.m., CBS, TV-PG) ... Charlie and Chelsea come to an understanding on "Two and a Half Men" (9 p.m., CBS, TV-14,D) ... Nate and Serena hit a plateau on "Gossip Girl" (9 p.m., CW, TV-14) ... An artifact comes between friends on "The Big Bang Theory" (9:30 p.m., CBS, TV-PG,D).

LATE NIGHT

Evan Lysacek, Don Cheadle, Annalynne McCord and J. Alexander appear on "Lopez Tonight" (11 p.m., TBS) ... Tom Hanks is booked on "The Colbert Report" (11:30 p.m., Comedy Central) ... Lady Antebellum appears on "Late Show with David Letterman" (11:35 p.m., CBS) ... Jay Leno welcomes Simon Cowell on "The Tonight Show" (11:35 p.m., NBC) ... Jason Mesnick, Molly Malaney and Corinne Bailey Rae appear on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" (12:05 a.m., ABC) ... Abigail Breslin, Chris Parnell and Ted Leo appear on "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" (12:35 a.m., NBC) ... Craig Ferguson hosts Isaac Mizrahi on "The Late Late Show" (12:37 a.m., CBS).

Kevin McDonough can be reached at kmcdonough@unitedmedia.com.

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